The Intellectual Trio: An Introduction

Lately, there have been some rumblings about the e-campfires about who and what the Intellectual Trio actually is and are not. We would, accordingly, like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. First, let me put some rumors to bed, with the lights down low, bullet-point style.

• Second of all, we were not the final catalyst for the falling of the Berlin Wall, as far as you know.


• Yes, we are a trio, so naturally, we consist of four separate yet equal voices, minds and, sometimes, sexual organs.


• Yes, we invented time, timekeeping, time travel, Time magazine, and pop-funk 80's sensation, The Time. We are not responsible for the herb and erstwhile aphrodisiac, thyme.

The Intellectual Trio is basically the most critical thinker, supreme arbiter, and, above all, brilliant Intellectual in the game today. If you want to imagine King Solomon without diabetes, Leonardo di Vinci with diabetes, and Albert Einstein with a luscious mustache and monocle, all combined in Prometheus' body (with additional musculature and sexual puissance), presto! The Intellectual Trio.

Our mission is, like all good and decent ones, a simple quest: to spread amongst the world a gospel of Truth and Intellectualism. This may surprise you as you sit in front of your computing machine, but the world has many problems. While the Onion might report the news, and Stephen Colbert comments on the news, we are here to solve the news, once and for all. Our ratiocination is in peak form, our intellectual gonads fully matured, and we are not messing around. And, if you care about anything, you shouldn't either.

There was a time when all one need do to spread intellectiveness was learn how to read and not stick you head in various animals. Surely, there were the Deceivers, out to promote democracy, religion, science and a host of other social and unintellectual ills. For epochs, those yokels were identifiable by their fat faces and soft brains (we know this, because we were there. Duh). How long is an epoch? Only the Trio knows for sure. Now, the enemy isn't so easy to spot. It could be you. The only way to know is to relinquish yourself to be bathed in our effervescent and zealous urine of discernment and holy wisdom and help us fight the battle of Intellectuality.

This is the only place on the Internet that will make you more intellectual. In summation, you're welcome.